


Jolly Poison

by Siren_Whisperer



Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: Christmas, Gift Giving, Holidays, M/M, Paperhat - Freeform, black hat is an alcoholic, blowjob, dont let him have wine, oh Jesus black hat is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-28 05:01:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17176388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siren_Whisperer/pseuds/Siren_Whisperer
Summary: Flug's Christmases were never exactly...exciting. Every year was always a repeat of the last for him. This year, he decides to set up secret santa so everyone gets a chance to buy for someone new.





	Jolly Poison

"Two... Drops..."

A green liquid escaped from the pitcher and into a sea of coffee. Flug wiped the sweat from his bag, then glanced at the already-melting pitcher. He discarded it along with the highly toxic poison. After doing so, he removed his extra layer of gloves. The doctor held the dark china with two hands and carefully handed it to the uneasy bear beside him.

5.0.5 cautiously sniffed it, feeling his nose ready to fall off into the hot liquid he held. Flug waved him away before pouring himself a mug of coffee.

"Just don't drop it. God, don't drop it," he whispered to himself. This was a daily ritual. Black Hat's absurd want for poison, or any type of acid in his drinks had always put him and 5.0.5 on edge. The constant fear of getting any on your skin/fur was enough to make you tremble and make it harder not to spill while pouring. He sighed when he heard 5.0.5's screech. It was successfully delivered and no one was hurt. Again.

Don't even get started on him downing bottles of it on the daily. It didn't scare Flug, but it's like when Demencia ingests thirteen bathbombs in a row. She thinks it'll make her insides sparkle and justifies it by rubbing the bath bomb on her skin. Yes, it leaves a sparkle, but there's no way it'd make your inards shine. It horrified him to even think about doing an autopsy on her. The amount of crap he'd find lodged in her would rattle his core. How she's still alive? Flug couldn't even begin to comprehend it.

He found himself in his lab, and his coffee mug empty. A wave of disappointment washed over him. His addiction to coffee was just like Black Hat's poison addiction. He felt like a hypocrite.

Flug sat down the mug and decided against getting another fill of the dark liquid. It was an attempt at restraining himself. A bad one, because he got a cup only moments later.

He sipped on his coffee while hanging out in his lab, reading over his blueprints. Business had been slow lately because it was almost Christmas. Regardless of how evil you were, there wasn't a reason not to be just a little in the spirit. Black Hat even began to wear his classic holiday hat.

Gift giving was cool and all... but Flug never got anything special. He didn't understand why, because everyone else in the manor got something good. Black Hat got gifts from Demencia, he bought weapons for her, and Flug gave 5.0.5 toys. Demencia's idea of a gift to Flug was a homemade bracelet. It was cute, but it wasn't as much as an expensive plane model. The value didn't mean anything, he knew that... but he just wanted a little more. Flug sighed to himself. Was he being greedy?

"Flug! Flug!" Demencia rapped the door with her fist. The doctor pinched the bridge of his nose through the bag he wore, "What?"

"Me and the bear are gonna go Christmas shopping today! Wanna come?"

He mulled on the request.

"...ok."

Demencia's footsteps became faint as she left his door. This year, he was going to set up secret santa. They'd put their names in a bowl or hat, and draw them. Whosever name they got, is who they'd buy for.

...

"...are you just gonna stare at it?"

Flug shook his head, coming back to consciousness. Demencia had been waving a hand in front of his face. He slapped it away and shot her a look. The doctor eyed the suit before him.

"He'd really like that. I know his tastes!~" She piped up from beside him. He rolled his eyes. _Of course she did._

"Do you know his size, too?" Flug asked her while pulling on the sleeve of the carmine suit.

She hummed and tapped the side of her head, thinking, "He isn't a big guy. Well... he's pretty tall, so make sure the bottoms are long enough. Think about getting a matching vest too."

Flug sighed. Black Hat wasn't easy to shop for. He literally had everything he could ever want. Hell, he probably already had this suit.

"I know it's hard... he's so spoiled," Demencia cooed, squishing her cheeks with her hands.

"Is there anything he doesn't have?" He mumbled, dropping the idea of buying him the suit. She shrugged, then began to walk away from him.

"You'll have figure that out yourself! I need to do my own shopping." Demencia winked then slipped behind a rack of clothes. She was gone.

The doctor didn't know what to get his boss. An idea popped into his head. A risky one, too.

Flug took out his phone and dialed the manor. It rung a few times and then it was picked up.

"Hello?" A gravelly voice answered on the other end. Black Hat.

"Hello, sir! I called to ask about your input on a new invention I've been working on..." Flug trailed off, expecting him to snap on the other end before he could finish.

Silence.

"If you could--" He was cut off by the obnoxious laughing on Black Hat's end. What was so funny?

"Doctor, you're so obvious. You have never asked for my input on anything, and you shouldn't ever have too. If it ever comes to that, I'll have to replace you," the end of his sentence sent chills through Flug's body.

"I called to try and figure out what you wanted as a gift..." He confessed, feeling like a failure for having to tell him. The surprise wasn't going to be a _surprise_ now.

"Hm..." A silence fell upon the line as he thought. "How about a nice wine?"

"Ok, sir. Then--" Black Hat hung up on Flug. The doctor sighed, slipping his phone into his pocket. A fine wine? The only liquid he'd been drinking since he started working for the organization was coffee.

Flug left the store and walked out into the mall. He stopped by the pet shop to buy 5.0.5 some treats then walked across the street to the nearby liquor store.

The doctor awkwardly glanced at the cashier as he walked into the store.

"Looking for anything special?" He asked, eyeing Flug's attire.

"Oh, uhm... do you have fine wine?" Flug questioned.

"Fine wine? Like the old stuff?" The employee cocked his head.

"Yes, I think."

The man held up a finger before going through the door behind him. Several minutes later he returned with a regular glass bottle containing a deep red liquid.

"It's sang," he grinned.

"Sung?" Flug mumbled.

"It's french... here, take it! Trust me, I think it'll be of liking to whoever you're buying it for."

"How did you know I wasn't buying it for myself?"

The man visibly began to sweat.

"The author... uh... please get out my store. Go." He waved him out.

Flug left with the bottle in hand, confused. He stared at it under the sunlight. Specks of what seemed like shimmer swam through the crimson drink. He twirled it around a bit. He could only pray that the wine didn't taste like shit.

The doctor put the bottle of wine in a bag he carried, and texted Demencia to meet her in the car. The last thing he needed was to be arrested for carrying alcohol in the mall... if that was a thing. Flug never did study laws. He could only imagine how many he had broken.

"Hey Flugster! Let's go! Now!" Demencia darted out from the mall, carrying a numerous amount of bags on her arms. Two mall cops chased her out from behind. "And stay out, ya' lunatic!"

Demencia flipped them off and hooked a crowded arm around Flug's. They fell into step with each other.

"What the fuck was that just now?" He whisper-yelled. She shrugged and blew a bubble with the gum she was chewing. "They really don't like how I shop."

"...how do you 'shop'?"

Demencia hummed, "Like anyone else. I get what I want to try on and put it on."

"In the dressing room, right?" Flug asked fearfully.

"What the hell is a dressing room?" She questioned, cocking her head. He scoffed, shaking his head. Those poor shop owners...

"Anyways... did you find something for him?"

Flug rose his bag up to show her. Demencia gave him a look of approval. "I'm glad you could find something. I'm telling you, all those years I gave him presents were _not_ easy. Do you want to know why he always wears the same suit?"

"I think I understand why. You could've at least gotten him different colors..."

"I tried. He just spat acid on them and they dissolved. He only tolerates the black ones."

Flug paused. "Did you try to sabotage me earlier? By getting a colored suit?"

"Oh. Haha... what's that?" Demencia pointed across the street. The doctor stared at the hybrid trying to redirect his attention.

"I hate you so much."

"Aw thanks!" She grinned.

Before they knew it, they were back at the manor.

"Goddamit bear! The fuck does 'baw' mean?"

"Uh, talk to you later on," Flug separated from Demencia and ran towards the commotion in his room. He opened the room door to see Black Hat standing over a cowering 5.0.5, holding something. What was he doing?!

"H-hey I'm back!" Flug scrambled between them. He glanced at the object Black Hat held. It was a piece of paper with a variety of colors on it.

"Can you translate your bear for me?"

He glanced at his boss for a second, then glanced down at his son.

"What. Color." Black Hat growled, sticking a claw out and circling around the paper.

"Ba--" 5.0.5 began only to be cut off by Black Hat's screeching.

" _ **I will r̵i̕p y͢our i̵ntęst͡i͠nes**_ _**o̸̕ų͏t͡ ͝of̶͞ ͝y̷͘͝o̸̵͡u͏̨̕r̷̨ ̢͠f̕u͘c̢k͜i͘͜n̶̶͞g͘͝ ̕͝͏a̸-҉-̶͢--**_ "

"Yellow! He said yellow, hehe..." Flug could feel himself begin to sweat. Black Hat regained his composure, then straightened his tie. " _Alright_. My thanks."

With that, he left.

"Jesus, Fives." Flug gave him a worried look. The poor thing. The bear suddenly began to sniff the bag he held. Flug yanked it away from him. "It's for someone else. You can't have liquor, you're just a little bear."

5.0.5 listened to his chiding, loving him regardless of the way he babied him.

"Anyways, I need to decorate this. A bow maybe?" He reached into his bag and pulled out the bottle. He sat it on his desk then reached under it to reach for his box of ribbons and gift wrap. After fetching a roll of ribbon, he wrapped it securely around the glass bottle then stuck a bow on top of it. He was bad at tying them, so he bought them tied. 5.0.5 nodded approvingly at the decoration.

Flug slipped it back into the bag then looked at his calendar. Christmas was in a few days... when did that happen? He sighed, removing his bag to rub under his eyes. He was tired. It wasn't like that was new to him, he was always tired. He was just tired... of being tired. Flug cringed internally.

He pushed off from the desk behind him then bent over to remove his shoes. Flug kicked them off and left his room with 5.0.5 to cook dinner. At the time, he felt like everything would go smoothly from then on.

_What? Oh. Well, no. It didn't go smoothly. Is that what you wanted?_

...

It was Christmas morning, but the house was dead silent. What was everyone doing? Demencia tiptoed out of her room and to the lit up Christmas tree in the center of their living room. It brightened the room quite a bit when compared to it's previous appearance. Demencia grinned, a devilish grin. She perked under the tree, loads of presents piled underneath it. She mumbled, digging through the ones she'd put under for Black Hat. Finally, she found a medium sized box with her name on it. Content, she lifted up from under the tree's limbs. It must've been from Black Hat, she thought. His calligraphy was amazing. As far as she knew, no one else in the manor could write this well.

Demencia smiled and tugged on the bow tied around the box.

"Put it down." Flug stepped into the living room with a mug of coffee in his hand. She sighed, dropping the box on the floor and crossing her arms against her chest. He set his mug down and sat down with her, picking his gifts from under the tree. Demencia smiled, watching him gaze at the plentiful amount under the tree this year.

Flug picked out his presents, one by one, stacking each on top of the other and creating new stacks when needed. Who the hell had got him all of this? He eyed Demencia, who was simply toying with the singular present she got this year. He felt kinda bad for her, but it did entertain him to see her only have one gift this year.

5.0.5 bounded into the living room, yawning. Flug patted the spot beside him and waited for the ursine to sit. He scratched behind the blue bear's ear. 5.0.5 looked between the few presents left under the tree. He pulled three out, all having his name scrawled on the wrapping paper. Flug stared at the wine bottle left under the tree. It was so conspicuous. He sighed.

Demencia shook her present, and even attempted to bite through the cardboard when Flug wasn't looking. Just as Flug rose up to take a sip from his coffee, Black Hat dragged himself into the living room. The jolly mood had instantly killed itself and left a suicide note. The eldritch looked like he hadn't slept in eons. Which, wasn't out of the ordinary, but it was still confusing because he usually got his sleep. He was obviously cranky. Flug sat his mug back down and anxiously watched as Black Hat took a seat in the recliner across the group of three.

He watched as his boss reached under the pine tree and retrieved the bag with the singular bottle of 'Sang'. Black Hat gave it a look over before setting it on the end table beside him.

"Okay, since everyone is here, I guess we can open what we got."

As soon as Flug finished the sentence, Demencia tore into her box. She reached in and took out a red jingle bell choker, along with a note card.

"Aw, Fives," Demencia smiled, standing up to give the bear a hug from behind. 5.0.5 graciously accepted the gesture. "I didn't know you could write so well... did you teach him?"

Flug shrugged, a smirk on his face underneath the bag. Demencia put the choker on and watched everyone else open their presents.

Flug got a really expensive airplane model. Like, really expensive. He knew because there was a defect in it that was only in a select few of which were manufactured. He stifled a gasp and stared at the plane, which was glimmering in the lights of the Christmas tree. The other boxes contained an airplane onesie, an airplane mug, and a... bracelet.

"Demencia?!" Flug nearly yelled. She only giggled and nodded her head towards something. He looked and saw that Black Hat was already opening the bottle of wine. He took two gulps from the wine bottle, then looked at Flug. He met his eyes, and watched.

"It has a peculiar taste, Flug. May I ask where you got this?" He set the bottle back down, only after he had another sip.

"I got it from the liquor store... it doesn't taste bad, does it?"

"No, no. Far from it. The taste is just... familiar."

"Oh, alright," Flug replied.

The morning went on as 5.0.5 opened his gifts that were from Black Hat. A yellow plushie of a flower, a jar of honey, and a new maid outfit. 5.0.5 still seemed content with it. Just as everyone was leaving the room, Black Hat pulled Flug aside. He stumbled back with his harsh tugging and nearly slammed into a wall. Flug jerked away from the surface, terrified he'd be pummeled by Black Hat. He pulled the bottle out of seemingly nowhere and held it upside down in front of him.

Nothing came out.

"Y-you finished the entire fucking bottle? Jesus!"

"Shut up! There was something in that. I knew it, and you knew it," Black Hat growled, tossing the bottle aside. It landed softly on the plush carpet.

"What do you mean 'something'? Flug questioned, his curiosity peaking. Black Hat huffed, removing his coat and revealing his vest. Flug glanced at his torso for a moment before returning his attention to him. He hesitantly placed a clawed hand on Flug's shoulder, then stared at the bottle on the other side of the room.

"You know."

"Know what? I don't know anything!"

"Flug, you know!"

Flug glared at the accusing man before him and daringly rose his voice, "I said I didn't know!"

"You have to know!" Black Hat pointed a finger at the empty bottle, then began to chuckle and lose his composure for a second.

"What was in that bottle...?" Flug asked carefully.

"Sang. Blood. It's french, Flug. I thought you knewfrennch-" Black Hat's words slurred together as he stepped back up on to his two feet.

"German! I took German in highschool for two years, Black Hat!" Flug felt aggravated by his unnecessary contact with his shoulder. The eldritch blinked slowly with his one eye, then furrowed his brows. He tasted the after taste of the wine... or blood on his tongue.

"What's wrong with blood? Don't you eat people--" The doctor was shushed by Black Hat's gloved talon. He blinked again, eye partially open now.

"Blood is like chocolate... to me. I cannot have it. Bad. No good. But, when it's there... I can't resist it. I read the bottle and let loose, Flug. Damn you."

The doctor sighed and stepped away from Black Hat's hold. The eldritch looked tired. Did he get drunk off of blood?

"So... basically alcohol?" Flug questioned. Black Hat shrugged, "More or less."

"This is a mess. I'm going to my room."

Black Hat grabbed him by the forearm and tugged him back before he could walk out the living room. "No. You're fixing this."

"Black Hat. I cannot fix your alcoholic tendencies, I'm not a therapist."

Black Hat growled, shoving him away from him. He huffed, kicking a few empty boxes on the ground. Only one wasn't empty.

"No!" Flug gasped, stopping him from kicking his model plane still on the ground. He shot him a look, then checked all of it's parts for no damage.

"You're acting like a brat. Can't you just go lie down, or something?" He snapped at his boss. His loopiness was pissing him off even more.

"But Fluug!~" Black Hat whined, once again pulling on Flug's sleeves. The doctor swatted him away.

"What?"

Black Hat rose up the empty bottle once more and poked his serpentine tongue inside of it, getting every last drop. Flug watched, fixated on the movements. He blushed.

"Get me some more," Black Hat ordered, snapping his fingers. Flug mumbled something under his breath, heart suddenly pounding in his chest. What was he...?

"Did you just... try to s-seduce me?" Flug whispered, his hands now clammy. He never... well, Black Hat was obviously a very intriguing and minimally attractive subject, but he never took notice of him in the way he just had. The doctor carefully set the model plane down on the coffee table.

Black Hat bat his eye, "Me? Seduce--Pfft!" He laughed, his voice cracking. Flug rolled his eyes.

"You're desperate."

Black Hat continued to laugh. Then began to cry. It turned into disgusting sniffles and sobs. "Please, Flug! Just get me another bottle, I'll do anything!"

Flug stood, aghast. Then something clicked in his mind. Like a lightbulb.

"A-anything? Like..." Flug slowly rose up his fist, staring at Black Hat. The doctor shook his fist back and forth. Black Hat clenched his jaw.

"Flug. What are you insinuating here?"

The doctor paused with his hand shaking, "Black Hat. You aren't dumb."

The eldritch cussed under his breath. "In all of my days of villainy with my band of retards, I never expected to give my best employee a blowjob. I haven't even screwed Demencia yet. I guess she's next, y'know. She's pretty good-looking for an experiment. Probably freaky in bed, too. I considered it so many times, I have. Oh, Flug. You don't know how many--"

"So? Yes, or no?" Flug huffed, feeling mixed feelings about being his favorite but also being the less good-looking. Black Hat looked solemnly to the ground at the empty bottle. He then looked back up and nodded.

"Oh. Uhm. Give me a second..." The doctor paused, getting up to lock the big double doors to the living room. The closed with a click then he sat back down to take off his pants.

"C-can you turn around? And... not stare?"

"Flug. You have the balls to ask me to suck you off but don't want me to watch you undress. Are you gonna tell me to close my eyes while I jerk you?"

"...yes?"

"No. Not happening."

Flug slowly took off his pants infront of him. Eventually, his semi-erect penis was revealed. Black Hat removed his gloves and set them off to the side. He got onto his knees and placed his hands on both of his thighs.  Black Hat wrapped his hand around Flug's length, then began to pump it slowly. The doctor stifled a small grunt as he wrapped his mouth around his tip

"Oh wow," He sighed, staring at the ceiling above him. He then returned his gaze to Black Hat and met eyes with him. He could fill his cock growing in his mouth. Flug bit his lip. The bag felt sweaty.

Black Hat thrummed his tongue along the underside of his member and sucked in his cheeks, moving his mouth along his entire length. The doctor had removed his bag and goggles, revealing his blushing face and messy hair. He began to raise his hips, forcing himself deeper into Black Hat's mouth. Flug's breathing grew laboured as he neared his climax.

Black Hat got quicker with his movements and stared at Flug. It seemed to turn him on even more, even though he'd rejected it earlier. The doctor suddenly tossed Black Hat's hat aside, then pressed him all the way down onto his member. His throat clenched around him, squeezing him till he lost his mind.

Flug cried out, holding him still against him, splurting his loads deep into his throat. He panted, still recovering from his orgasm.

Black Hat waited until Flug released his grip on him and slowly rose up off of him. He picked his hat back up and set it back on his head.

"You... you're... that was amazing," Flug breathed. Black Hat rolled his eyes. "I know."

The doctor pulled his clothes back on and watched as Black Hat also regained his composure.

"Let's hope no one heard your girlish scream just a moment ago."

Flug glared at him. He just got a blowjob from Black Hat. Never in a million years would he have thought that was possible.

"Hurry and go get another bottle. My buzz is going away," He ordered once more, snapping his fingers again. Flug nodded and left the living room.

...

"Can I get another bottle of sang?"

"...another one?"

"Yeah. Another one."

The cashier glanced at the back room, then at him.

"It's gonna take a bit, but okay. It might be warm too."

Flug nodded.

The man walked back into the room and stayed in there for quite a bit. Almost twenty minutes had passed when he came out, wobbling slightly.

"Here! On the house, _again_!" There was fear in this man's voice.

"Oh, really? Thank you!" Flug took the warm bottle from him and put it in a paper bag. The cashier waved him out.

Flug returned to the manor with bottle in hand. He opened the front door and called for Black Hat. No answer.

"Black Hat?" Flug called. A forboding thought came to mind.

_I guess she's next, y'know._

Flug furrowed his brows, listening for anything in the halls. He continued to Demencia's room, and knocked.

"Just a second!" She called. Some giggling could be heard.

_I considered it so many times, I have._

He opened the door anyways and saw Black Hat sitting on her bed with his arms crossed. Demencia wasn't doing anything but folding some clothes.

"Flug? What is it?" Black Hat looked at the paper bag in his hand. He quickly snatched it from him and sat it beside him on the bed. Flug looked at Demencia, then back at him.

"Oh. You thought we were fucking. Well, I tried. She said she wanted to clean up her room first and I respect that."

The doctor eyed him. "She never cleans her room."

"I do! I clean it everyday! When I wake up, it's dirty. I don't know why, but I think my night terrors make me do it," Demencia piped up. They both glanced at her, worried.

"Well, thank you for the blood Flug. Now, if you'll excuse us, the sooner she finishes folding her clothes, the faster I can get to folding her over."

Flug didn't feel any jealousy. He didn't love him neither, but felt slightly annoyed. He mumbled something vulgar then stepped out the room.

For the first time in forever, he felt content with his Christmas.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Holidays! I finished this on Christmas and posted it the day of on another website, then completely forgot to put it here.


End file.
